Hey Mare...looking foward to it but as it apporaches dreading having to tell my I sad tale over and over and worried about being Debbie Downer. I am kind of worried that people will just assume that I am divorced and for some reason that bums me out. We actually got to the actual death do you part thing too f-ing soon. I have nothing against divorced people...but we were actually a darn good pair with a goof life. Don't want people to think I failed at marriage. Feel like wearing a sign...."husband died in January. Yup it sucks beyond belief. I know, they're adorable, right? poor kids .. so unfair. We're doing as okay as we can. Now that we got that out of the way..Who are you again and what have you been up to lately?" or maybe a big Red W. Trying to push the dread out and go to the "drink with old friends and have fun "place. You will have to bear with me if I need to sceedadle if it gets to be too much at times. My last memory of SMC is actually how much Brian enjoyed the 10yr reunion. Ugh...maybe I should have skipped this one. Sorry to be whining and worried but I'm still not used to this widow stuff yet. I was sitting at the ballgame with my friends yesterday and there they are a couple and the thought came into my head. Holy crap their friend is a widow...how wierd do they think that is....is it wierd to hang with a 43 yr old widow?
Okay I have gone on enough...just want you to know not to take any anti social behavoir from me during reunion as anything personal.
Love you
Kathy
Okay I have gone on enough...just want you to know not to take any anti social behavoir from me during reunion as anything personal.
Love you
Kathy
1 comment:
I empathize with what you express in this. I still call my wife my wife, even though she's been gone 6 months as of next Saturday.
I don't want to call her "my first wife" because that implies that we're not together because of divorce.
It makes you wonder why we don't have a special prefix to describe the people we love when they're no longer with us.
I don't want to call Sara my first wife ever. She was my wife until death separated us. In some ways it feels like she will always just be my wife, even though I know that our vows were fulfilled.
I can also emphasize what it's like to hand out with your friends and have that moment when you realize they're all there being good couples...and you're alone...I don't think that's something we'll ever get used to.
Hang in there...I'm not far enough down this road to assure you that it gets better, but I can tell you none of us walks down in alone, even though it feels like it the whole time.
Chad
Post a Comment